Thursday 21 April 2011

#5. Public Transit Seat Giver.

When taking public transit you are confronted by all sorts of people. Of these sorts, 2 stand out most profoundly. They are: The Seat Hoarders and The Seat Givers.

Like in every binary, one would not exist without the other. However, I think I speak for most of us public-transit-loser-cruiser individuals (that would rather be riding in a car listening to our OWN tunes than some punk metal Metallica humping fools) when I say: “Shame on YOU Seat Hoarders and !HIGH-FIVE! YOU Seat Givers.”

Yesterday I decided to embark on a public transit adventure and meet my 2 girlfriends' downtown for Lunch. I have always been a public transit taker for my years at University because the justification of giving more money than necessary to the University (for a parking spot) makes me more nauseated than the tea-cup ride at Disneyland (of which I have thrown up on, and yes, I was THAT kid holding up the line because the ill-paid worker had to hose the shiz out of that puke stench like a firefighter fighting a raging blaze). Regardless, public transit has been my frenemy for years.

Let me paint you a picture of what us public transit folks articulate as the “Seat Hoarders.” These people are straight up selfish. They are either a) only children who never learned to share OR b) they are actually smart and realize that anyone taking public transit is not to be trusted (Insert: Man decapitating other Mans head with a knife on Greyhound *HERE*). These people go to every extent to avoid anyone snatching the seat beside them. They put their backpack down on the seat and pretend they’re sleeping, they position themselves between the two seats to make it look like they need as much room as possible, they place the newspaper down on the seat and act like it was there when they sat down or if they’re really smart, they sit on the seat closest to the isle and leave the seat next to the window open, place their backpack on the window seat and create such a barrier between the standing individual and the "available" seat, that the standing individual can’t be bothered to ask to sit down. To sum it up, these people suck.

Who DON’T suck are the Seat Givers. These people deserve a HUGE HIGH-FIVE for their kindness because they relieve us tired folk from baring the brutality of the bus drivers crazy abrupt stops that send us flailing into the person in front of us and create that awkward situation where everyone stares and wants to laugh but doesn’t because it’s just THAT awkward.

As I was saying, yesterday I met my 2 girlfriends’ downtown for lunch and when I was on my public transit journey to meet them, I witnessed a Seat Giver! (Insert booty dance *HERE*) Seat Giver gave up his seat so the boy sitting next to him could sit next to his friend. This is where it gets good... As Seat Giver got up to give the boy his seat, a woman just entering the Skytrain (with no idea what kind act was about to take place) SNATCHED the seat before the boy could even get to it. She dove in there more slyly than A.C. Slader AND Zach Morris combined. When this happened, everyone looked at eachother and laughed and the woman was embarassed that she just ruined the kind act that was taking place. She got up abruptly and apologized but because she scored so many points for her quickness in snatching that seat up; the boy insisted she just take the seat. I suppose then, there were 2 Seat Givers in this scenario.

What a lucky public transit experience; 2 Seat Givers, NO Seat Hoarders and I even made it to lunch on time. SO - HIGH-FIVE Seat Giver(s) for your kind act that made a Skytrain full of people want to do gymnastics tricks from the handrails!

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